March 14th, 2022

Disagreeing is Uncomfortable

Wow, the weeks go by fast! The first part of the week was normal schedule, and Thursday morning I played pickle ball and I'm improving bit by bit. It's a fun thing to do. Dave thinks his ankle will be strong enough to join me this next week. 

Thursday at the temple I was reprimanded for not keeping my mask up over my nose and I allowed it to really upset me. This blog is a record of my experiences so of course some may not be pleasant nor will I respond perfectly at all times or any times...who knows....anyway. 

Because of my narrowed trachea I need to get extra air often even when I am not hindered with an additional layer of a mask stopping my breath intake, so I will let the mask slide down my nose and breathe deeply, sometimes when I'm going up or down the stairs or when I know I am not by any other people, I will pull my mask completely down to my chin and enjoy breathing as much as I can. I know the Temple Presidency know of my struggle to wear a mask so this reprimand was hurtful. I really try to do the best I can even though I don't believe cloth mask do much good (scientifically) and feel like if people are concerned about their health, they should take every precaution they can to protect themselves and not expect or depend on everyone else to do it for them. 

To add to my struggle with masks, the announcement was made two weeks ago that the mask mandate would be lifted in the state and wards and stakes could make their own recommendations for masks as well as the MTC mask mandate was lifted but not the temple. I didn't understand why this decision was made, to protect the elderly when they can wear heavy duty masks if they want, and everyone else has to continue to suffer....people like me, people with asthma etc. I was very upset and with some trepidation, admit that I disagree with this decision and I'm not happy to disagree with the Prophet. I feel like I'm sneaking around being disobedient when I adjust my mask to simply breathe well. I do understand it is a privilege to attend the temple and it is a "private" residence so they can require whatever restrictions they want or need to, but we are all so weary of these masks and want so desperately to have our smiles back and to be able to hear each other when we speak and to breathe easily without restraint. 

I was stationed at a chair in the lobby for a time and I asked Heavenly Father that if a member of the temple presidency walked by while I was there, I could talk to him about my feelings and it would be alright to do so. Kind of like Abraham's servant asking God to point him to the woman who would water his camels. After some time, here one comes and I get his attention and ask if I could chat with him after my shift. He said that would be fine. After the shift and I was dressed he was there in the lobby and we walked down a quiet hall and I emotionally told him what had happened and how it feels and my frustration with all of it. He listened very kindly and with compassion and I felt heard knowing there was nothing he or anyone else besides the First Presidency could do. 

Friday, I took a mental health day...sick to my stomach and Saturday went back to the temple and the first chance I got to see this presidency member, I apologized for my tantrum and thanked him for letting me vent. He was again very kind. I will continue to wear this mask and breathe the best I can until it is no longer required. Please Father, let it be soon.....

I did have a lot of time to get to know my ancestors better and will share their stories another time. 

We are on the bank of Montrose Iowa where the saints cross the river when they were driven out of Nauvoo.

This is the Keokuk water plant with the locks

 where the barges go through

The bridge over the Mississippi between Illinois and Iowa

We took a drive on the MRT Mississippi River Trail road 

There are many mansions and interesting houses alone the way

The view of Nauvoo as seen from Montrose, Iowa

What the saints would have seen looking back 

as they crossed the river

The Mississippi River is unfrozen and the barges are flowing down. 

It's exhilarating and soul changing to have warmer weather!  

This is a chart to show how much a barge carries compared to 

these other modes of transportation. 

It's quite an amazing difference in capacity as well as the cost to move the product especially with gas prices increasing.